That is the question I am now asking myself. I am wondering if I try to hard, or just don't try enough.
Let me tell you a story.
I met and fell madly in love with a guy a couple of years ago. It was an online affair. He was newly married, so I had alot of guilt to deal with. He persisted and we became slightly more than just an item. The only thing that ever stopped us progressing, was me. I did'nt want to be the cause of a marriage break-up, and so I constantly battled him and pushed him more...
That is the question I am now asking myself. I am wondering if I try to hard, or just don't try enough.
Let me tell you a story.
I met and fell madly in love with a guy a couple of years ago. It was an online affair. He was newly married, so I had alot of guilt to deal with. He persisted and we became slightly more than just an item. The only thing that ever stopped us progressing, was me. I did'nt want to be the cause of a marriage break-up, and so I constantly battled him and pushed him away. When he finally had enough, we became close friends. To this day we are still very close.
Determined not to get involved with anyone on that level again, online, I decided in my infinate wisdom to become "choosy" and join this site. But seems things never turn out the way you wish them to.
I have been playing an online game for a couple of years now. It seems that one guy really took a shine to me. He pursued me, and I turned him down.. on more than one occasion. October last year I agreed to become his "internet companion", and things were great. We were having fun, confiding in each other and just generally "hanging out". Until a spanner got thrown in the works. Isn't that always the way? The "spanner" though was in the form of an "ex". And she had her claws out. Needless to say, I ended up getting a "lets go back to being friends, it isn't you it's me" talk.
I am left thinking that no man will ever be able to "tame" me. When the ex started her "biting" on me.. I bit back just as hard. He felt like he was in the middle of it all. He actually said to me that he felt like it was a game of chess, and that it was at check mate.
I like to think of myself as being strong. If something bothers me for long enough.. then I will act or say what I think, this has caused me to have a few enemies in the past, but I go by the "take me as you find me" title.
I just think that men find this a little challenging, or stand offish.
I don't want to "change" who I am. But I don't want to be forever wondering if I am responsible for chasing guys away before they have really got to know me. I don't want to be lonely forever. less...
I feel your pain, but I have to also admit that I agree with all the posters so far.
You have gotten involved with men who are unavailable and/or can't/won't commit. A newly married man looking for a little "extra" certainly isn't commitment material. Neither is a man who can't let go of his ex and allows her to dictate a part of his life that she has no right being in.
You are worth more. Love yourself first, once you do the rest will fall in line. And no...things w more...
Hi!
I feel your pain, but I have to also admit that I agree with all the posters so far.
You have gotten involved with men who are unavailable and/or can't/won't commit. A newly married man looking for a little "extra" certainly isn't commitment material. Neither is a man who can't let go of his ex and allows her to dictate a part of his life that she has no right being in.
You are worth more. Love yourself first, once you do the rest will fall in line. And no...things won't change overnight. But I guarantee you that as you slowly change so will the world around you. I know, I've been down your path...
There is light at the end of the tunnel and it is shining for you. And always remember that you are worth far more than just an impersonal internet relationship or someone that can't commit. less...
it's simple you wanted someone you couldn't have and he was the type of person who took what he shouldn't have taken.
A red flag ladies is this any man who is newly married and cheats doesn't honor any commitment.
He probably knew his wife for awhile before he married, so he knew what he was getting in to. He just didn't honor a commitment.
And the lesson is to not get involved with married men or men who are close enough to their ex's that they tell them everything.
I have to agree with
Aimeeflea, too. I will also add that online has the appearance of being "safe", but as you have experienced, one can become emotionally involved without even being physically present with someone. Until you meet the person, online is an illusion and can be protection from whatever it is that one fears in the "real world" more...
And the lesson is to not get involved with married men or men who are close enough to their ex's that they tell them everything.
I have to agree with
Aimeeflea, too. I will also add that online has the appearance of being "safe", but as you have experienced, one can become emotionally involved without even being physically present with someone. Until you meet the person, online is an illusion and can be protection from whatever it is that one fears in the "real world". I say this because I have been there and I am sure that many who have read this post have been there, too, so honey, don't beat yourself up over it. Just put it behind you and do things differently, that's all.
Don't latch yourself onto anyone who is unavailable to you. Don't sell yourself short.
In my opinion: What you do wrong, is to accept less than you're worth.
You said the married man was wrong. It sounds like the other guy pitted you against his ex because he likes to have women fighting over them.
My question to you is why only online? On line is safe, you don't have to put out any emotion, time or trouble. No investment at all. I know you said you "felt" something for these guys, but I think you're really fooling yourself.
In my opinion: What you do wrong, is to accept less than you're worth.
You said the married man was wrong. It sounds like the other guy pitted you against his ex because he likes to have women fighting over them.
My question to you is why only online? On line is safe, you don't have to put out any emotion, time or trouble. No investment at all. I know you said you "felt" something for these guys, but I think you're really fooling yourself.
You deserve more, you deserve a face to face relationship. One to one, NO SHARING. Someone that feels that he is the luckiest man alive because you're in his life.
Start by loving yourself. Doing things that make you feel good about you and you alone. Start small, buy one thing that you really want to wear and feel pretty wearing. Then do you hair just for you. Make a dinner just for you. If you don't like you, then no one else can or will.
Do yourself a favor and love you.
I did everything I just suggested you do. I was not "in like" much less love with me. I am now. I like me, I like who I am and what I am and all things about me.
So I know about the area that you're in now. You have to have the interest and attitude to get up from the floor and walk with pride. Smile all day long - smile at yourself in the mirror in the morning. It works,do it for three months, then come back and tell me what's going on in your life.
I know you can do it, I know you want to do it and I know you will do it !
